The Last Day in New York

Finally, the day arrived, we had to leave. I enjoyed this trip so much more than I had expected, and I was going to miss the nights in New York, the good food, and just the surroundings as a whole. I could walk out of my hotel and there were things to do and see. There were so many food options available to me, and I could bike ride in the park or find French bookstores and other unique shops in a matter of a few city blocks. It was definitely going to be missed, and there is no place quite like New York. It is a very unique city, with unique people, sights, and culture.

Fortunately, we did not have an early morning flight. We flew out that afternoon, thus my mother and I made sure to get in a few final activities. For breakfast we decided to treat ourselves to another meal at Rue 57. We had our first meal of the trip there, and our last official meal of the trip there, it was a perfect ending. I ordered French toast, and my mother had sausage, eggs, and toast. We made it to the restaurant just as they opened and were the first ones seated. My mother and I sat in the window and watched New York come alive. We were dining early enough to see all of the people headed to work pacing through the streets to get to their final destinations. The businessmen and women came into the Rue 57 for breakfast, meetings, and others entered for a nice breakfast.

When we left Rue 57, we had another mission, a few last minute purchases before we boarded our flight. Taking the direction of some morning shoppers we made our way to the Sephora in Times Square. My mother hunted down a perfume while I purchased an eyeshadow palette as a gift for a neighbor.

A snazzy suit we saw in passing on the way back to the hotel

After leaving the Sephora, we were feeling a bit peckish, so we stopped by a Halal/Hotdog cart and got two hotdogs. Another detour included some pictures at Love Park, at which a friendly photographer offered to take the photo for us.

,

When we finally made it back to Central Park south,  (where our hotel was located), my mother and I figured it was never too late for a pedicure. My first experience in a New York nail salon was better than any I had ever had in Georgia. Perhaps this was due to the part of New York we were in. Our hotel was next door to the Plaza hotel, so it makes sense that the nail salons in this area were much better, with more consistent service. At the salon, I chose a stunning Essie color, a midnight blue with subtle sparkles that shined when I stepped outside. I did not take any pictures unfortunately; but believe me it was pretty.

Mom + Me outside the hotel before we left

After our pedicures we went to fulfill our final mission before we left. First we stopped by a cart where we had talked with the owner the day before, and purchased a shirt for my little brother. Next we went to say goodbye to our friend that had helped us rent bikes the night before. He was really helpful and friendly, and we wanted to make sure we said bye before we jetted off. My mom and I trekked back to the hotel after successfully finishing up our to-dos and grabbed our bags. The doorman got us a driver and we were off to the airport.

Some soccer players we ran into at the airport

Our driver happened to be French-Canadian, so of course my mom had to tell him I spoke French, prompting yet another on-the-spot French conversation for me. Nonetheless, he was very nice, and we all chatted pleasantly on the drive to the airport.

When we touched back down in Atlanta

Arriving home was exciting, but I have definitely continued to think about and miss the many experiences I had while in New York. This trip reinvigorated my view of the state itself, and what it had to offer. I continue to thank God for all the travels and adventures I have had in my eighteen years, and this trip was a wonderful beginning to the next phase of my life. I turned eighteen the next week, and in around two months I would be moving onto my college campus. Have a blessed day, and thanks for keeping up with me,

Kaylah

Year 2 of Being Natural

In February, I finally got the braids taken out. While I had my braids in, my mother began looking into natural hair specialists to do my hair. This is how she came across the Carol’s Daughter salon located in Atlanta. After having my braids out for a day or two, she took me over and set me up for a consultation and wash. At this time, my stylist Quincy went through my hair, told us how bad the damage was and gave us his solutions. Quincy made us aware to the information that I shared in the last post about the drying effect of the braids, my split ends, and of course the state of my curls. That day Quincy assured me that he would have my hair healthy so long as we followed his advice and continued to see him. My mom and I were committed, and consented to cutting off as much damage as we could. I wasn’t completely ready to start fresh, but we did a substantial cut, leaving not much of the damaged ends which we would later cut off as my hair grew out.

Selfies after my cut

Quincy washed, cut, and styled my hair, and I left with bouncy, shiny hair, looking and feeling the BEST it ever had. Before leaving, Quincy did warn me that majority of the relaxed hair was gone, as well as the heat damaged parts, so my hair would be more ready to revert back to its curly state than it had ever been. Accustomed to the longevity of the perm, I heard his advice, but I didn’t really listen to it. However, after a hot shower and wrapping my hair, the next morning when I woke up my hair was already feeling thicker and the shape had to be touched up a bit with a flat iron. This was also the time that I had begun lacrosse, so after practice that day, I returned home dismayed. My beautiful, straight, bouncy locks were slowly turning into something resembling a lion’s mane. Aside from that, that time in February proceeded to be rather rainy, so I left my house with the fear that any outpouring would be the utter end of me.

Week 1 after my consultation

Week 2, rain and lacrosse practice

So I continued going to the Carol’s Daughter salon, staying with Quincy as my stylist. We cycled through several “protective” styles, some very inventive and different, which I was unaccustomed to.

One of the protective styles we tried (personally not a fan of this one)

I had a very hard time with the styles, they were very different and not something I could hide behind like straight hair. This was me, and what I looked like. My hair was looking much different than what the other girls at school were wearing. Even most of the black girls had weaves or braids in. A very small selection of girls were wearing their hair like mine and I felt alone, and quite frankly, ugly. Growing accustomed to these styles and the way they looked on my face resulted in a lot of mental growth for me. I had to learn to accept myself, even when I didn’t feel so “pretty,” and even more, redefine what my definition of what pretty was. Eventually, driving into Atlanta every other Friday became too much, and when my mother and I found ourselves in need of a last minute style, this is when we found Kayla.

As much as I adored going to have my hair cared for at Carol’s Daughter, one issue I had was that the protective styles I had done there were not the kind that could last through lacrosse practice every day of the week. Very quickly the style would revert and begin to look a mess. Kaylah did protective styles that lasted me through practices, games, and could be fixed up for special occasions without the use of heat. She became our go-to after the Carol’s Daughter in Atlanta shut down, and we could no longer go to Quincy. Quincy has since changed salons, but his locations were never convenient and close to us. One day it would be great to go back and visit, show the progress my hair has made, and also have him give me one of his fabulous styles.

Kayla would cornrow/flat twist the sides of my hair and do a rod set on top. it resulted in a style reminiscent of the curly up-dos women in the 60s wore, but very cute and easy to maintain. (I'm on the right).

Thus commences my favorite protective style. Typically, Kayla would flat twist or corn row the sides of my hair, and on top do a perm rod set. This style became my go-to, and after the heat from sitting under the dryer to dry the perm rod set, I no longer had to put any heat on my hair to maintain the style for up to two weeks if I wanted to. My hair really began to grow at this time and I was so very thankful for it.

A little bit of a close up of my style

Occasionally I would release my braids and experiment with braid outs. This was the part where I really began trying to learn my hair, and this was the part where I began to be the most discouraged. My curl pattern was still a little damaged, and my hair was very thick. I also couldn’t really do a corn row, though I understood the basics. I watched video after video and tried to mimic each style, but found it very difficult. Eventually, I made my way back to my stylist to have my hair professionally done, but thankfully I never quite gave up on exploring my hair myself.

My attempts at braid outs

Then summer came, and my sweet sixteen rolled around. I hadn’t straightened my hair in near to six months, so my mother took me to get it blown-out and flat-ironed (for clarification purposes, even when straightening my hair, I did not utilize relaxers, just a simple blow dry and flat iron). I was astounded by the growth, shine, and fullness of my hair. Never had I ever seen my hair that full. I was so very excited and it was a great way to kick off my sweet sixteen. Not only was I turning sixteen, but I had hit a landmark in hair journey. My hair was growing and it was healthy.

A picture from my sweet 16, the first time I straightened my hair since my chop and protective styles

Here commences the straightening obsession, but this time it was without the use of relaxer, so I felt like it was perfectly safe. However, it ended up not being as safe as I thought. This began the next 10-11 months of wearing my hair straight. My hair looked good, and I didn’t notice any breakage or other damage, so my mother kept taking me to get it straightened. If you keep your hair straight, especially if you are natural, there are also ways to do this in a healthy manner, but I, like many of my other curly friends, quickly learned what heat damage could do. Luckily I caught it in time before it became too bad. At this point I also switched from Kayla, to a different stylist to straighten my hair. Here are some pictures from my straight phase:

My hair grew quite a bit from the cut, the picture in the top right corner is my hair length by the end of that year

Remember, this body is a temple, given to us as a gift. Treat it with love and respect (including your hair). Much love,

Kaylah

Day 4: Doing the Tours Right!

You thought I forgot, but i'm not done yet with my New York trip summary!

This morning my mom and I were determined to do things right, and not get stranded anywhere. Armed with our informational pamphlet, we checked the times of the bus departures, made a more concrete plan of where we wanted to go and what we wanted to see, and boarded the bus. Once again, we rode through Times Square, but this time my mom and I stayed on the bus until we hit our main target for the day: Harlem.

Our ride into Harlem

Soon we reached Harlem, and I took some pics of notable landmarks such as the Apollo Theatre.

Harlem is home to one of my mom’s absolute favorite restaurants, the Red Rooster, owned by chef Marcus Samuelsson. Normally, I am rather disappointed by hyped restaurants, especially those owned by world renowned “master” chefs, but this restaurant did not disappoint at all.

Décor inside of the restaurant

For a starter we tasted the cornbread, which was scrumptious, and one of the few savory corn breads I can say that I enjoyed. Then, I ordered macaroni and collard greens, while my mother ordered the chicken and waffles. The macaroni and collards was as good as it sounds, it was as satisfying as any good home-cooking, and I had enough for leftovers to share with my mom for dinner that night. The chicken and waffles was also very well done, with the tender chicken covered in a savory sauce placed over the thick, fluffy waffle. A notable aspect of the Red Rooster is the flavors of its foods. The flavors were all so very distinct and different, making use of different seasonings, garnishes, and other food additions that I was very unaccustomed to. They were powerful and added to the foods in ways that you would not initially expect. I cannot applaud the Red Rooster enough, and while I am not a professional food critic, I have to say it was a good, good meal!

After the Red Rooster, my mother and I decided to work off the food through shopping. We just went to Marshall’s, and then before being picked up at the bus stop, perused through the Malcolm Shabazz Market. We also engaged in another guilty pleasure, and walked the sidewalks to look at all the beautiful brownstones lining the streets. The best part about Harlem was how “calm” it was. I felt like I was transported to another world, and the surroundings, including the brownstones maintained so much of the character and atmosphere that I imagine was there during times such as the Harlem Renaissance. It was definitely a great stop on our trip.

Once picked up by our bus, we rode around for a while as the tour completed itself and made its way back Uptown. With the rest of our afternoon, my mother and I decided that it was necessary to go on a bike ride through Central Park. I must admit, the situation got a little “bumpy” but it all worked out, and we made a new friend. So, crowding the streets, there are people advertising bike rentals, some are aggressive and rude, while others are helpful and pleasant. Turned off by the rude bike rental peddlers, and convinced of the efficiency of the CitiBikes, that’s where my mom and I went. After thirty minutes of waiting (after we had paid for bikes, and found to our dismay that one of the last two bikes left at the bike docks wasn’t even working) my mom and I relented and went to a friendly guy that had helped us out, but was also advertising bike rentals at his shop. This honestly proved to be so much more convenient, and I suggest that you look into these bike rentals versus the CitiBikes. There are some inconveniences with CitiBikes, like having to re-dock every thirty minutes, and of course the peak hours when not a bike can be found at any docks and you might have to wait around for 30+ minutes.

A few things I learned while riding in Central Park: There are rules. These rules are known and I broke a few of them. First of all, when you get on a path, you can’t just turn back whenever you want. You’d best be prepared to ride out that whole thing until you arrive at an exit. Secondly, the bikers in the park are very intense, and will gladly tell you “to get out of the way.” So be prepared for all that, and you’ll be fine. There’s also hills, lots of them, so know that you’ll be sore in the morning and your thighs will be crying.

 Otherwise, I enjoyed my ride, my mom conducted a phone call while I listened to Spotify, and by the time we were done, we had worked up an appetite for dinner. With leftovers from the Red Rooster, we trekked over to the Merci Market around the corner from the hotel and purchased two chicken breasts and some drinks, grabbed plates, and shared out chicken, collards, and macaroni for our last dinner in New York.

It was an enjoyable day, we ate well, shopped well, and worked it all off. This was a trip that I thank God for, He has really come through for our family, and to be able to have a wonderful vacation as such was something I am incredibly grateful for. Strength and love,

Kaylah

My Natural Hair Journey: The First Year

I went natural the last month of my freshman year in high school. This decision was spurred on by issues with breakage, dry scalp, and bumps appearing in patches throughout my head. At the time, I had perm in my hair and after a visit to the dermatologist’s office, I was advised to discontinue using perm and begin using a medicated shampoo to clear up all the bumps.

For around five years, I had been relaxing my hair, and at first I really liked it. I didn’t like the burning sensation the relaxer left on my scalp, or the chemical burns that I sometimes would get from the relaxer being left on my scalp for too long, but I liked having my hair straight, and after a while it became the only style I knew for my hair. Initially, when I straightened my hair, I did not get a relaxer, my mom took me to get blowouts at the Dominican hair salons. Once I reached the sixth grade my mother took me for my first relaxer. Relaxing my hair proved much easier because my hair was thick and it kept my hair straight for a longer period of time. However, as I continued to perm my hair, my hair began thinning and breaking. When the breakage got out of control, and a beautician made me aware of the fact that I had bumps throughout my scalp, my mom made an appointment with my dermatologist.

The beginning of freshman year, as you can see, the right side of my hair was where majority of the damage was happening.

Many are unaware of the fact that if they are having scalp problems such as constant dandruff, peeling or any other scalp related issues, they should go to their dermatologist. Dermatologists are trained to deal with all the skin on your body, including your scalp. Going to my dermatologist proved very helpful and became the first step I took to going natural. Honestly, I am glad that my hair began breaking to detrimental amounts and I developed the bumps, because otherwise I do not think that I would have ever gone natural. You grow through what you go through. Literally and metaphorically I grew. Accepting my natural hair helped me to accept myself, how I looked, who I was, and even learn to love myself through taking care of myself. Even more, my hair actually grew much more, especially when I first went natural.

I ended up having to get my hair cut to be even because the right side was so short, but you can see where the damage has ravished one side of my hair. This picture was taken shortly before I went to see my dermatologist.

Once we worked out the scalp issue, my dermatologist recommended to me Ketaconazole to get rid of all the bumps. She felt that it was possible I was having an allergic reaction to the chemicals in the relaxer, and due to my hair being relaxed I also wasn’t washing my hair as frequently. Now for people with kinkier hair, washing your hair too much can cause the hair to dry up and break off because it is much more difficult for the sebum (natural oil created by your scalp) to reach the tips of your hair. So while many of my Caucasian and Asian friends have hair that is more prone to being oily, my hair is prone to dryness, which can be damaging if I continually shampoo and remove the oils from it. Nonetheless, I was washing my hair very infrequently due to the relaxer and needed to set myself up to be shampooing at least once a week, and perhaps a conditioner-wash halfway through the week since I was active and did activities that made me sweat frequently.

Cue the braids. I have a love-hate relationship with braids, especially the kind I was doing, which were the synthetic twists. They were a key part in me growing out all of the relaxer in my hair without doing a big chop. In conjunction with the medicated shampoo, it got me down to very little relaxed hair and mostly new-growth and virgin, unrelaxed hair. Yet, they also contributed to me having very dry hair and horrible split ends when I finally took them out. My suggestion is that you educate yourself before you put braids in your hair, especially if using synthetic hair. I have heard of people doing them successfully to where it is safe and not so harmful for their hair, so it's definitely good to find what's good for you and be ok with incurring maybe a little bit of damage due to dryness. Of course, for me and my natural hair, everything I learned was by trial and error. I tried something on my hair, endured a little damage, and then I figured out where I went wrong and re-directed. First of all, my natural hair stylist informed me that the fibers which the synthetic hair used for braids and twists leaches the moisture out of your hair, and if you cannot tell by now, that is a big “no-no” in terms of natural hair, and just any kind of hair. It is very difficult to maintain moisture for your hair underneath the braiding hair, so it is best not to keep in braids for too long. This, I did not know, and my mom and I proceeded to braid up my hair for several months at a time shortly after my dermatologist visit. The braid phase didn’t last long though, but I had braids in for the majority of around nine months, and when I took them out, I had to get a good bit of split ends chopped off. Not a trim, but an actual cut from all the damaged ends. The braids were nice though in the fact that I liked how they looked and made my summer pretty easy because I did a lot of travelling to the beach, which meant a lot of swimming. I had fun and enjoyed them while they lasted, and I have to say that box braids and Havana twists are a very cute style.

I loved my braids!

Like I really, really loved them!!

Essentially, this was how my first year being natural went. It was a lot of learning. Other than the changes I mentioned before, I did have to find a natural hair stylist. One disappointing part about the damage I underwent was that in all the time the damage was occurring, I was going to a professional stylist. I rarely, if ever, did my hair myself at home, and any straightening or relaxing was done by a professional. I managed to consistently stay with a stylist, which can be very hard to do, and I trusted that my parents were paying good money not only to get a style that was satisfactory, but also that my hair was actually being taken care of. It is disheartening to know that all that was money wasted on just getting my hair styled and damaged. In all honesty, I really just didn’t know. My parents and I were doing what we knew, and thought was right, and due to our lack of in-depth knowledge pertaining to certain aspects of caring for my hair, we went to a professional. Our lack of knowledge is not an excuse, but it definitely shows that it is good to know about what’s going on in your body and on your body, including your hair. Not every professional is going to be forthcoming with you and say that they think that relaxing your hair is causing damage.

Unfortunately, it seems that we have a wealth of stylists that style the hair, but do not care for the hair, and they leave that up to the clients to figure out. So, it pays to know, and if you don’t know, definitely ask questions. If they can’t answer your questions, maybe they shouldn’t be receiving your money to care for your hair. I went natural at a time when most of the hair tutorials were done by girls that had hair that was nothing like mine. I stubbornly ignored my mom’s cautions that some of the styles may not work on me because my hair was not their hair, and spent a significant amount of time trying to emulate white girl hairstyles that were never really very successful for me. So definitely embrace yourself and who you are. Eventually I did find YouTubers with my hair type, but it took a while. Thankfully, now there is an abundance of resources to learn about your hair, hair type, and how to keep it healthy and growing. A lot of the things out there can get confusing, and when I first went natural, my mother worked to find a professional we could trust and that would inform us properly. This was a BIG step in my natural journey, and the beginning of what I like to refer to as the "second phase" of my journey.

Thanks for keeping up with me,

Kaylah

Day 3: Tourists doing Tourist Things

"Give me such shows--give me the streets of Manhattan!" (Walt Whitman)

Midtown//Times Square

My mom and I intended to see all that we could see, so the next morning, we woke up early, ate breakfast and headed out to our bus stop. We were going to do the double decker tour of New York! We purchased tickets with City Sightseeing, and overall had a good experience, except for a few bumps in the road.

Some selfies before we got on the bus

Once the bus arrived, we climbed on board and started our tour in Midtown, Times Square. As cool as Times Square is, it’s also one of the most overwhelming parts of New York for me. It was great seeing it all from the bus, but I had no interest in getting off to explore, I’d been to Times Square enough in my life to not need to do that.

After making it through Times Square, we continued on to SoHo, where my mother and I decided to get off. The best part about our tour was the fact that it was “hop-on, hop-off.” It was the perfect way to explore and to economize. Overall, the cost of taxi fare to get to all the places we wanted to would have been equal to if not more than the cost of our ticket for the two-day tour. I highly suggest doing one of these tours, and make sure that it’s one you have the freedom to get on and off of. While in SoHo, we commenced with shopping and ended with lunch from a corner market called the “Gourmet Garage."

One thing that my mother and I appreciated while in New York was the vast amount of markets. It made it possible to eat healthier even while on the go. After eating, we even stumbled across a knit shop which my mother revealed she had seen online before.

After my mother and I were done perusing through SoHo, we hopped back on the bus at its next bus stop as it was making its way down to Brooklyn. This was one of my favorite sites of the day. We were let off just around the corner from the Brooklyn Bridge and walked it in its entirety.

Where the bridge let us off, we could easily walk to DUMBO, another sight on my list. DUMBO is a quaint neighborhood near the Brooklyn Bridge, with beautiful views across the East River. It was definitely much quieter than Manhattan, had calm, clean streets and cute brownstones at every corner. It was an adjustment from emerging out of Uptown New York.

After walking around, my mother and I chose to venture a bit further and found a park in what seemed to be a more residential area. The park was full of kids, from tiny toddlers to middle school age, kicking around a soccer ball, skateboarding, and hanging out and talking. My mom and I sat, and watched peacefully, letting our feet rest for a moment.

When we finally decided to make our way back to Manhattan, we ran into some problems. Primarily the issue came about due to the fact that we were not aware that the last bus left Manhattan to head to Brooklyn at six o’clock. We had just missed the last bus, and didn’t find that out until fifteen minutes of waiting at the stop we were supposed to be picked up at led to us calling the company. My mother and I had to hail a taxi and make it all the way back to the hotel (the taxi fare was NOT pretty). Regardless of this set back, we still made the best of it. I had the opportunity to drive through a predominantly Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn, which made me feel like I was literally in a different world, as well as the not so pleasant parts of Brooklyn, giving me a complete tour of all of Brooklyn, not just the pretty parts.

Even with a few setbacks, we still had positive learning experiences. Day three proved to be eventful and long, and my mother and I made it to bed, perfectly exhausted,
Kaylah