Year 2 of Being Natural

In February, I finally got the braids taken out. While I had my braids in, my mother began looking into natural hair specialists to do my hair. This is how she came across the Carol’s Daughter salon located in Atlanta. After having my braids out for a day or two, she took me over and set me up for a consultation and wash. At this time, my stylist Quincy went through my hair, told us how bad the damage was and gave us his solutions. Quincy made us aware to the information that I shared in the last post about the drying effect of the braids, my split ends, and of course the state of my curls. That day Quincy assured me that he would have my hair healthy so long as we followed his advice and continued to see him. My mom and I were committed, and consented to cutting off as much damage as we could. I wasn’t completely ready to start fresh, but we did a substantial cut, leaving not much of the damaged ends which we would later cut off as my hair grew out.

Selfies after my cut

Quincy washed, cut, and styled my hair, and I left with bouncy, shiny hair, looking and feeling the BEST it ever had. Before leaving, Quincy did warn me that majority of the relaxed hair was gone, as well as the heat damaged parts, so my hair would be more ready to revert back to its curly state than it had ever been. Accustomed to the longevity of the perm, I heard his advice, but I didn’t really listen to it. However, after a hot shower and wrapping my hair, the next morning when I woke up my hair was already feeling thicker and the shape had to be touched up a bit with a flat iron. This was also the time that I had begun lacrosse, so after practice that day, I returned home dismayed. My beautiful, straight, bouncy locks were slowly turning into something resembling a lion’s mane. Aside from that, that time in February proceeded to be rather rainy, so I left my house with the fear that any outpouring would be the utter end of me.

Week 1 after my consultation

Week 2, rain and lacrosse practice

So I continued going to the Carol’s Daughter salon, staying with Quincy as my stylist. We cycled through several “protective” styles, some very inventive and different, which I was unaccustomed to.

One of the protective styles we tried (personally not a fan of this one)

I had a very hard time with the styles, they were very different and not something I could hide behind like straight hair. This was me, and what I looked like. My hair was looking much different than what the other girls at school were wearing. Even most of the black girls had weaves or braids in. A very small selection of girls were wearing their hair like mine and I felt alone, and quite frankly, ugly. Growing accustomed to these styles and the way they looked on my face resulted in a lot of mental growth for me. I had to learn to accept myself, even when I didn’t feel so “pretty,” and even more, redefine what my definition of what pretty was. Eventually, driving into Atlanta every other Friday became too much, and when my mother and I found ourselves in need of a last minute style, this is when we found Kayla.

As much as I adored going to have my hair cared for at Carol’s Daughter, one issue I had was that the protective styles I had done there were not the kind that could last through lacrosse practice every day of the week. Very quickly the style would revert and begin to look a mess. Kaylah did protective styles that lasted me through practices, games, and could be fixed up for special occasions without the use of heat. She became our go-to after the Carol’s Daughter in Atlanta shut down, and we could no longer go to Quincy. Quincy has since changed salons, but his locations were never convenient and close to us. One day it would be great to go back and visit, show the progress my hair has made, and also have him give me one of his fabulous styles.

Kayla would cornrow/flat twist the sides of my hair and do a rod set on top. it resulted in a style reminiscent of the curly up-dos women in the 60s wore, but very cute and easy to maintain. (I'm on the right).

Thus commences my favorite protective style. Typically, Kayla would flat twist or corn row the sides of my hair, and on top do a perm rod set. This style became my go-to, and after the heat from sitting under the dryer to dry the perm rod set, I no longer had to put any heat on my hair to maintain the style for up to two weeks if I wanted to. My hair really began to grow at this time and I was so very thankful for it.

A little bit of a close up of my style

Occasionally I would release my braids and experiment with braid outs. This was the part where I really began trying to learn my hair, and this was the part where I began to be the most discouraged. My curl pattern was still a little damaged, and my hair was very thick. I also couldn’t really do a corn row, though I understood the basics. I watched video after video and tried to mimic each style, but found it very difficult. Eventually, I made my way back to my stylist to have my hair professionally done, but thankfully I never quite gave up on exploring my hair myself.

My attempts at braid outs

Then summer came, and my sweet sixteen rolled around. I hadn’t straightened my hair in near to six months, so my mother took me to get it blown-out and flat-ironed (for clarification purposes, even when straightening my hair, I did not utilize relaxers, just a simple blow dry and flat iron). I was astounded by the growth, shine, and fullness of my hair. Never had I ever seen my hair that full. I was so very excited and it was a great way to kick off my sweet sixteen. Not only was I turning sixteen, but I had hit a landmark in hair journey. My hair was growing and it was healthy.

A picture from my sweet 16, the first time I straightened my hair since my chop and protective styles

Here commences the straightening obsession, but this time it was without the use of relaxer, so I felt like it was perfectly safe. However, it ended up not being as safe as I thought. This began the next 10-11 months of wearing my hair straight. My hair looked good, and I didn’t notice any breakage or other damage, so my mother kept taking me to get it straightened. If you keep your hair straight, especially if you are natural, there are also ways to do this in a healthy manner, but I, like many of my other curly friends, quickly learned what heat damage could do. Luckily I caught it in time before it became too bad. At this point I also switched from Kayla, to a different stylist to straighten my hair. Here are some pictures from my straight phase:

My hair grew quite a bit from the cut, the picture in the top right corner is my hair length by the end of that year

Remember, this body is a temple, given to us as a gift. Treat it with love and respect (including your hair). Much love,

Kaylah